Playing a #womencard

I chose this heading because I am a woman. A lot many times, that I am observing, whenever a woman expresses her views/an uncomfortable situation, people don't take a minute to tag this as #womancard.

Well, nobody has directly used it for me so far, however, there have been instances when their tone and facial expressions have shown it clearly.

Now, can you make out my obvious consciousness, my defensive approach and probably a disclaimer that this is not supposed to be playing a #womancard. This is just ‘sharing my thoughts.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

‘I am grateful for what I have is my daily affirmation and a strong belief too. I have almost got what I ever wanted, not very easy though. This can not be a fact-based true statement but this is what I would like to believe to maintain my own sanity levels. Of course, there have been things here and there, some compromises and things just like every other story.

I am a woman, who finished her basic education, completed her master’s and moved on a journey of being financially independent. My professional journey has not been very smooth though. I have had a few breaks which were not in my control (and I hate to say this) probably. The most significant break has been because of ‘motherhood’. 

At this point, stop judging me already!

I lacked a vision of an obvious life that most women have. I just focussed on achieving small goals in my personal world also. I thought of marriage but did not read enough about post-marriage challenges. I handled things as they were coming to me. And similarly, motherhood. I (read we) wanted to be a mother(read parents) so I (we) planned. Pretty simple!

I never thought about what drastic change this would bring in my personal and professional life.

I struggled to continue my professional journey because of no other support system. I am the mother and I brought this baby to the world. So, who is going to take care of the baby? We. 

This has nothing to do with me. It is not just my story. This is the story of countless women around the world who leave their paying jobs for this full-time (permanent) role.

INCESSANT JUDGEMENTS

At this time, there can be many perspectives that people (judgemental) might have.

1. She delivered a baby, she needs to handle it.

2. Lucky she, now she can just stay home and do nothing!

3. Is she still thinking about a career? Why baby then?

4. She joined back her work? Such a selfish mother.

5. And if it's a tricky joint family system, then it's my way (their way) or the highway!

But that's not the point. Most women learn through the journey and struggle to find a solution. Unlike men (not a #womencard yet), they struggle to find a balance at each level. Their constant struggle is unseen or looked down upon. Their mind is occupied with feeding, baby food, family health, love, laundry and what not!). Most women lose a definite connection with their profession. They constantly ask themselves, what is happening? When things will be back on track? When can I enter the professional world again?

This is the sole motive of this post. I want to highlight how a woman struggles to find a way back in her ambitious world. This is definitely not a cakewalk. Unfortunately, she finds many roadblocks on her way.

COMMON ROADBLOCKS

1. To touch base back with the industry trends.

2. Connect with industry people.

3. Come out of her own zone and sell her skills.

4. Give detailed explanations of her break and how she upgraded herself in that ‘break’

5. Explain, how can she resume work? What's the family support structure now?

6. To do courses, training, sometimes unpaid internships

Surprisingly, this is invisible. Nobody wants to talk about the ‘elephant in the room’.

STIGMA IS REAL

Remember, how sometimes we have to wait in a long queue to get a coffee? And then, imagine we have to leave the queue to attend an urgent call! We are back after 10 minutes, only to find that you are at the end after fifty-odd people. And the coffee is served only on a first come -first serve basis.

How to co-relate better?

1. The long queue at the Coffeehouse is an employment queue, door to your dreams and ambitions.

2. An urgent call is family responsibility - child care

3. 10 minutes - 3-4 years!

4. Fifty odd people - competition in millions

Of course, the employer would pick the one who is more closely connected to the professional world. Somebody, who is in touch with their ‘work’.

And, this is okay! They need to pick up the best resource who they see can hit the ground running.

I just wanted to tell the world, this is real. This is happening. Our woman is struggling at multiple levels. I have only highlighted one aspect. Don't close your eyes while looking at the resume. If a woman is applying after a break because she has some stubborn ambitions that she refuses to give up. She has a tsunami of dreams and is totally up for challenges. She just needs one chance and definitely not an unpaid one! Because that permanent non-paid full-time role she already has.

BE THE PART OF THE SOLUTION - BRING CHANGE

1. Do you hire? Give her an opportunity.

2. You can't afford and take a chance? You might be missing out on energetic volcanic results.

3. Can you afford her skills? Train her and she will be in charge in no time.

4. Find your own solutions but do not close your eyes.

5. Try to be part of the solution.

Still, think it's playing a #womancard? Go away and browse something that polishes back your patriarchy.

I welcome more perspectives. Leave your comments below.

RJ