No matter how close we are to each other, there always exist some hidden truths which we never want to share.
We are rational beings. We carry opinions about situations and people around. How true we are to someone on face is somewhat linked to the position we have in someone’s mind.
Are we friends to be honest enough? Or do we enjoy a respectable (or authoritative) position of a boss to carry out honest opinions. It is a world of “maintaining good customer relationships” and each one of us is a prospect customer. We tend to smile even if we hate the person badly! Smiling is no more a depiction of happiness. But sometimes it says, “Shut up and go!”
The training given to an airhostess for treating all the guests nicely has become an inborn talent in people. We are good on face and hard on back!
Luckily, words like “friendship” still exist; though the meaning remains diverse depending on the situations. We are friends till it is a “placement season”. We are friends till we get to know an extra question in an exam. We are opinionated human beings. We form impressions of everyone who passes by. We are not gutsy enough to make the comments on face but we enjoy things better if we talk behind backs.
Any day turns great when we get to hear a compliment. “Awesome”, the word is becoming too powerful to turn you “awesome” in an awesome way! While a comment, not so good, turns us off and makes us conscious enough.
We have turned so fake that we start believing our own lies. And we have turned so busy that we don’t get the time to bring out the trueness of our heart and mind.
Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), the father of psychoanalysis, gave the theory of “Id, ego and superego”. The “Id” is driven by “pleasure principle”. If we would be governed by our “Id”, we will satisfy are needs and wants in all the ways possible. And this sort of behaviour could be both disruptive and socially inacceptable. The “superego” on the other hand keeps a check on our moral standards and ideals which we acquire from our parents and society. “Ego” is responsible to deal with reality in a socially acceptable way.
This reminds me of an example given by my Psychology teacher, “sex” is an Id, while “marriage” is a way of expressing this Id in socially acceptable way. We carry hard truths and secrets inside us. But we are different to others.
The day dreams and the unconscious dreams during sleep bring us closer to ourselves. We face an interview and we try to alter ourselves in the best possible way. We twist our answers in such a way that it fits in to interviewer’s perspective. And then “luck” is the answer for almost all the rejections!
Our family background and the past relationships never leave us. But we hide them, because we fear reactions which can bring us down in an embarrassing way. We like someone and we don’t come open about it because we don’t want to deal with “image issues”. “I don’t care” attitude comes late in life when we acquire a status that no one can question. We love wearing “red” shoes but it makes a girl, super girlish and a guy a gay!
Though the young generation pretends to be much advance and cool, it is also governed by peer pressure. We pretend to be rich even if we don’t have much to spend. But image demands it all. India, besides its advancement as an economy is also getting a feel of western culture.
Expression of love and liking is now accepted by many more people. ‘Loving friendly hugs’ in public are becoming common. But then there still exist a major class of people which does not understand its relevance. We carry so many emotions with us but we fear expressing them. We smile at the person we don’t like and we do not look into the eyes of the person we like.
Honesty has become a relative term. It is something which people modulate in their own way. “I am having an affair-the whole world knows it except my parents!” The statement makes the person honest to the world but untruthful to the parents. We don’t speak truth because we believe that people won’t accept it. We either wait for the right time or we just keep it to ourselves.
Too much of alcohol is injurious to health. But it is been considered a good way to socialize. It makes us comfortable and helps us in bringing out the little things which we would never reveal when fully conscious. We need someone to share things.
But there are things, people just can’t listen too. Psychologists, the meditational camps are in good business today. They help people to connect with themselves, so that they take time out to understand their inner self. There are ugly truths which can make us criminal in a friend’s eye. So better keep it to yourself. Confessions are difficult to make. Somewhere I read “to forgive is human, but to ask for forgiveness is divine”. I am not referring to little word ‘sorry’ which we regularly say for our repeated mistakes. But the deep confessions which we make that can badly ruin our self respect, ego and pride.
Most of the times, we are not courageous enough to confess.
Stardom is in. Youth dreams of dressing up in a fashionable way. But only few can live it their way. The society takes it all. I have a problem with male dominant society. The things are changing for sure but the pace is too slow.
We have so much inside.. that a post can never present it all..
still incomplete..
